Road Rage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E9X-y3ylbY

"Daaaaaamn girl! You drive like Danica Patrick!" -Cesar Sepulveda.

I can't say I'm the best of drivers. I've never gotten a ticket (knock on wood) and I've never been at fault for a car accident. But what I can say is that I may have a mild case of road rage.

One morning on my way to work, I'm cruisin' down the 101 in the fast lane and I come up on a line of cars. I continue to drive along with traffic when I notice a maroon Mazda convertible behind me. Now, let me preface this by mentioning that one of my biggest pet peeves is when drivers start tailing you when it's obvious that I can't go any faster due to the traffic ahead. Maroon Mazda decides to ride my ass until traffic lets up and I'm the only one in the fast lane. To make Maroon Mazda pay for driving like a dip shit, I pull along someone in the slow lane and cruise at the same pace for a few miles, not allowing Maroon Mazda to get passed me. After I have myself a little chuckle, I pull ahead and sure enough, Maroon Mazda jumps in the slow lane, passes me, and the Asian lady driving Maroon Mazda(who clearly raided Liberace's closet) shakes a nasty fist at me and barrels ahead.

About to claim my victory, I see that Maroon Mazda has once again decided to ride the tail of yet another innocent victim, Silver Accord. I find myself behind Maroon Mazda and decide to stick up for my fellow Honda and tail Maroon Mazda to give her a taste of her own medicine. As soon as Silver Honda could get into the slow lane, Maroon Mazda is on to my tactics and slams on her brakes, causing me to nearly smash into her. That bitch. I proceed to scream profanities and flip her off. Through the shadows of her rear view mirror, I see her giving me the bird as well.

Much to my surprise, I instantly start laughing. I have to hand it to Maroon Mazda for being crazier than me, a feat not often reached. I slow my horse down and let Maroon Mazda speed off in a rage. A few miles and a good hard laugh later, I see Maroon Mazda getting off the freeway in Atascadero. She looks over at me from the off-ramp. As if inching past Maroon Mazda past the checkered flag, I give her a warm smile, a friendly wave (with all 5 fingers this time) and say goodbye to my foe. I win.