College Confession #1: The Hunky Professor, Oh Lord!

So this one time in college I sign up for Religious Studies. Not my cup of tea. Besides the familiar face of my friend Jenna, suffice it to say I was not looking forward to this class.

In a smaller lecture hall, Jenna and I take a seat toward the back. I arrange my pink Chico State notebook, pull out my pen and brace myself for a long 45 minutes worth of useless knowledge.

Class starts and up to the podium walks a gorgeous man with an ass that can squeeze a dime. Instantly I'm intrigued. In the next few minutes he calls roll and tells us that he played soccer at Purdue where he got his BA (hence the buns of steel). I am now loving this class.

Being the helpful classmate I am, I log onto RateMyProfessor.com a few weeks into the semester and start my review. Chili pepper indicating hotness factor? Check. I crack my knuckles and begin writing: "The class is deathly boring. The only thing that keeps me motivated is staring into the eyes of this Mike Seaver look-alike and, boy, does he have a nice ass!"

About a week later, I'm half-doodling, half-daydreaming when I hear Professor Hottie say, "I never check out those professor rating sites but my good friend did the other day and apparently one of you think I look like Mike Seaver and have a sweet ass." If Jenna's burst of laughter didn't point the finger at me, my slouch and beet-red face probably did.

I'll never know if Professor Hottie knew it was me. All I know is that he probably still has that sweet ass. And on my Final, he gave me an A and drew a smiley face.

Imposter

Ode to Vodka

Recently I read Chelsea Handler's “My Horizontal Life.” After nearly peeing my pants of laughter from her countless bedside adventures, I just knew I had to pick up her latest book, “Are You There Vodka? It’s me, Chelsea.” As if the title didn’t give it away, Ms. Handler is quite the fan of vodka and it got me thinking about my own adoration for the clear substance.

Back in high school, my sophomore Biology teacher told us the only types of soda she let her kids drink were Sprite, 7UP and basically anything without color. Her reasoning was, “There must be less crap in it since it didn’t have that awful caramel color to it.” I’ve decided to adopt this same theory when it comes to choosing my alcohols.

There was a brief stint where I cheated on my beloved vodka with his cousin, gin. It was a short affair ending the night after purchasing the Popov equivalent of gin at Albertson’s at the bargain price of $5.99. Long story short, it just didn’t work out. Vodka has stayed faithful to me and I plan on reciprocating that love.

I’ve never been a fan of SoCo, I’m not bad ass enough to drink Jack Daniels, Jager is just plain nasty and our dear friend Jose Cuervo makes me do horrible things such as puke on motor homes in Podunk towns after singing karaoke in a in a bar filled with stuffed ducks, bears and elk. Case and point: Biggs, California (population 1,793). But that story is set for another blog posting.

Although I’ve spent many mornings wondering just why I thought it was a good idea to take my last shot of the night while singing, “Friends In Low Places,” I’ve never once questioned my relationship with vodka. Grey Goose in all its glory both gets the job done and is also a preventative agent for morning hangovers. My new found awakening has inspired this posting and better yet, awarded itself praise for being with me on some of the best times I’ll never remember. So here’s to you, vodka, and all of your friends: Soda, Tonic, OJ and Collins. Cheers!

She's back...

I'm sorry, but Britney's here to stay. And I'm loving it.

Is The Grass Always Greener?

Picture it: Me. Two years ago. Sitting in front of my laptop staring at a blank screen wondering how the hell I’m going to write an entire paper on Al Jazeera and the ethics of journalism by tomorrow morning. My mind wonders to a fantasy of my oh-too-near future; sitting in my apartment after work, sipping on a glass of wine and talking to friends about how the stresses of my job are minimal compared to the joy and security of having funds transferred into my checking account every week.

Cut to today. My glass of wine has been changed to a vodka soda and instead of relishing on my direct deposit, I start to question if my new pair of jeans was a good investment considering I’d be eating Top Ramon for the rest of the month.

In college I wanted to be a career woman, and now working all the time I wish I was back in college spending Thursday nights at Power Hour at Riley’s. How is it that you always want what you can’t have? I’m a single girl living in one of the most beautiful places in California, so how come I can’t seem to find that one puzzle piece that makes my life like an episode of “Friends?” It’s more like watching reruns of “Sex and the City.” Find a guy. He’s an ass. Find another guy. He’s not quite an ass at first but then pulls the let’s-not-get-serious card and inevitably becomes an ass. Whine to my friends. Drink more vodka. Keep on keepin’ on. Story of my life.

Things are changing and as I watch my 20’s start to pass me by, I wonder if I’d even be happier with a steady boyfriend, hearty paycheck and a puppy named Couture. But the more I think about it, I’m not sure if that would change anything. What I can do is take what I’ve been given and run with it. The grass will always be greener on the other side, but hey… at least I’m not a single 30-year-old with a hazy life path (yet). And life has handed me lemonade. So now I’ll find someone whose life handed them vodka and party.

iTunes Songs

Daily tip: Download the free song each week from iTunes. Most of the time they're crap and you can delete them. But I've downloaded a few songs that I really love and have become hits ("Bubbly" by Colbie Callait and "Mercy" by Duffy). It's worth it. And fun to see what's new to the music scene if you're into that stuff.

Thank you.

Twilight

I love when things become viral. Videos, blogs, whatever. Most recently, my friend Kiersten got me into the "Twilight" series. Beyond myself, Kiersten talked another 4 people or more into reading the four-book series. And now that I've got my nose into it, I can't seem to get enough.

I'm not one for books about vampires, but I am seriously addicted. When people ask what the books are about, I tell them it's about a girl who moves to a lonely town in Washington and falls for a boy who turns out to be a vampire. But the more I get into the series, I am realizing that it's much more than that. I'm almost done with the second book, "New Moon." I have to admit that this book in particular has struck a cord. In an effort not to give away too much, I'll be vague. The way the author exposes Bella (the main character) and her emotions really hits home. Not only because Bella is clumsy and unathletic, something I have been known to describe myself as, but because Bella experiences love, loss and questions herself about the "why's" of the past and the "what if's" of the future. Things I think every girl experiences at one time or another in her life. I know I have.

Working in an industry where I am fortunate enough to be able to recognize good creative writing, I like to think I have a pretty good grasp on brilliance when I see it. Definitely a page-turner and a must-read for any girl to swoon over the perfect guy that will never exist (I said I recognize creative writing. My perception is not distorted by this fantasy. Sorry guys). And in my somewhat light-hearted way of continuing this viral trend, I am paying it forward to you my friends, my blog readers. If you have not read the series yet, just give the first book "Twilight" a whirl. You won't be disappointed. You have plenty of time to read it before the movie is released, then be disappointed. In the words of a Facebook flair button, "Twilight the Movie: Ruin it and die."